9 Comments
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The Great Wild Word's avatar

Very nice. Creepy.

Sanaa's avatar

Thank you so much for reading 🤎

Nitin Raghuwanshi's avatar

the notification popping up right after that is the part that got me, a horror beat wrapped in something as boring as an activity goal. the smartwatch detail did so much work too, it made the whole thing feel plausible before it turned. how did you land on that pacing, did the twist come first or did the story build toward it.

Sanaa's avatar

Thank you so much for reading Nitin, so the twist came first and I weaved the story around it.

Nitin Raghuwanshi's avatar

that explains why it felt so tight, building backward from a fixed twist usually does. did the ending come with it or did that part stay open while you wrote toward the reveal.

Aakaash 🍀's avatar

Kinda lost with the Naina part 😅

Sanaa's avatar

It has to be Maahi, I had initially named her Naina but the changed the name, thank you for letting me know, I’ve edited then name now heheh 🤭

Aakaash 🍀's avatar

Ah, suspected so, but still, was open to the possibility of Naina being another character 😅 (btw, Naina is ‘Dad’ in Telugu, not the official form though, which is thandri, it is equivalent of ‘papa’ or ‘dad’)

Sanaa's avatar

Ayeeee I didn’t know this thank you for sharing